What constitutes a 'Side' Gay Individual

During the preceding year, Grindr introduced a classification termed 'side,' a novel categorization that disrupts the traditional dualistic framework (binary) which has predominantly characterized gay male social circles, thereby fostering a greater degree of sexual acknowledgment and deference. Individuals identifying as 'sides' are males who derive gratification from all forms of sexual activity, with the sole exception of anal penetration. Rather, a diverse array of techniques, encompassing oral, manual, and frictional body engagements, facilitates a catharsis imbued with profound emotional, physical, and psychological benefits. Certain proponents of this approach term these pursuits as outercourse.

Sexual Role: The Significance of 'Side' Emphasizing Sexual Discovery, Acknowledgment, and Deference

Approaching eleven million homosexual males globally utilize the Grindr application with the aim of seeking sexual partners. Users are able to navigate an inexhaustible continuum of individuals, ranging from aesthetically pleasing to unassuming, and from 'bear' archetypes to 'twink' figures. Regarding the selection of sexual roles, the options have traditionally been confined to merely 'top' and 'bottom'. The sole alternative offered involves alternating between these designations: namely 'verse' (signifying versatility).

Individuals identifying as 'sides' frequently encounter pervasive ostracization and misapprehension within the homosexual community, whose constituents commonly perceive them as either callow, indolent, or even devoid of sexual interest. 

The appellation 'side' originated in 2013, conceived by the distinguished sex therapist and author, Dr. Joe Kort; yet, only within the past twelve months has it begun to achieve notable recognition within the broader gay demographic. A year and a half prior, Dr. Kort established a confidential Facebook group, christened 'Side Guys,' with the intention of providing these men a venue for fostering acceptance and, potentially, initiating a broader social movement. 

The group's progress commenced at a gradual pace, as its participants initially accrued in increments of tens, subsequently expanding into hundreds. Nevertheless, over the preceding eight months, the roster of members has experienced a twofold increase, now encompassing five thousand individuals. Contributions from 'sides' of various ages originate from diverse global locations. Dr. Kort indicated that a majority of these men had discovered the group through the TikTok videos he had produced to disseminate information. Additionally, other individuals have been crafting their own informative video content on TikTok, among whom is the model Barrett Pall, boasting 1.4 million followers on the platform. Significantly, in a further development, Wikipedia incorporated a definition for sides into its lexicon on the terminology of homosexuality. 

Concurrently, Michael Henry, a comedian residing in Los Angeles and identifying as gay, has produced a satirical tutorial concerning 'sides,' which has garnered in excess of 224,000 views on YouTube over the past several weeks, thereby establishing it as one of his highly popular video segments. Within the aforementioned video, a youthful male character informs some acquaintances that he has been engaging with various men without participating in either topping or bottoming roles. Subsequently, a friend incredulously inquires: «What are you doing with these men? Shaking hands?» Following the character's disclosure of his identity as a 'side,' Henry then poses the query: «Are you suggesting like a potato?»

The Challenge to Internalized Homophobia and Heteronormative Frameworks by Gay Individuals - Embracing Side Sexual Exploration as a Pathway to Mutual Esteem

Historically, the community's response (regarding non-penetrative sex) has often been highly negative. Individuals would become disconcerted upon learning that an individual does not engage in penetrative acts. Many held the conviction that penetrative sex was an indispensable element of sexual discovery.

Furthermore, certain individuals perceive the 'side' orientation as symptomatic of internalized homophobia. Conversely, others hold a contradictory viewpoint. The assertion that penetrative intercourse constitutes the exclusive benchmark for sexual activity represents a heteronormative framework which gay individuals are positioned to contest and redefine - as articulated by one, «It's mimicking patriarchal crap».

The 'side' methodology also extends its utility to heterosexual individuals, encompassing women who experience discomfort with penetrative intercourse or who favor oral modalities. Moreover, this approach possesses the capacity to re-engage both gay and heterosexual men grappling with erectile dysfunction, thereby reigniting their sexual lives, as 'side' techniques may facilitate orgasmic attainment for certain individuals.

Research Conducted by George Mason University in Virginia - Reveals Merely Thirty-Five Percent Engage in Penetrative Sexual Activity 

A significant number of 'sides' contend that numerous males sharing similar inclinations remain undisclosed (i.e., 'in the closet') regarding this aspect of their sexuality. Empirical data suggests that a segment of gay and bisexual men exhibit a preference for 'side' practices, at least for a period. For instance, a research endeavor from 2011 undertaken by George Mason University, located in Virginia, which canvassed twenty-five thousand men identifying as either gay or bisexual, discovered that merely thirty-five percent of these individuals had engaged in penetrative sexual acts during their most recent intimate interaction. 

Seventy-five percent of the surveyed men indicated a preference for osculation, oral sex, and other non-penetrative sexual activities. Consequently, and perhaps unsurprisingly, individuals identifying as 'sides' commonly admit to experiencing no difficulty in encountering prospective partners for initial sexual encounters. However, it was solely within the context of committed romantic partnerships that their specific sexual predilections - or the absence of others - frequently emerged as an insurmountable obstacle.

Certain 'sides' involved in enduring romantic attachments have reported that, for the preservation of these connections, they found it necessary to embrace open relationship structures, thereby permitting their 'top' or 'bottom' partners to engage in sexual acts that they themselves are disinclined to offer.

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Sexuality, Esteem. 'Sides' Persistently Subvert Dualistic Ideologies Within the Spheres of Identity and Sexual Orientation. Grindr's 'Side' Classification Amplifies the Presence of the 'Side' Category. 

Conversing with members of the 'Side Guys' community, and perusing their online contributions, unequivocally demonstrates that each individual possesses unique personal narratives and distinct predilections. Their connection is predicated upon a dual foundation. Firstly, an immense gratification is derived from acknowledging the burgeoning community and the contemporary dissemination of this specific terminology. Concurrently, there exists a profound weariness stemming from the perpetual necessity of elucidating their existence to others, coupled with an entrenched, lingering anguish arising from the mischaracterization of such an intimate and significant facet of their identities. 

The incorporation of this specific category within Grindr signifies a notable advancement, primarily due to its direct facilitation of sexual discovery. The recognition for its inclusion is attributed to Bobby Box, a distinguished author specializing in homosexual concerns, who authored an article earlier this year concerning 'sides' for Xtra, a prominent Canadian queer publication.

The established community possessed sufficient breadth to encompass transgender and intersex individuals as well. In an effort to further the impetus of this movement, he has initiated the sale of T-shirts via his website, prominently adorned with the declaration: «I'm a Side with Pride». His aspiration is that 'sides' will soon attain a sufficient degree of comfort to establish distinct visibility contingents during future Pride parades. 

Exploring Side Sexuality: The Interplay of Toxic Masculinity and the Phallicization of Intimacy

The prevailing resistance to accepting a sexual classification that excludes penetrative acts (specifically, that of 'sides') is additionally implicated in the phenomenon of toxic masculinity. This form of masculinity is typically manifested within heteronormative frameworks and constitutes one of several contributing factors to homophobia. A notable dimension of this particular masculinism evident among gay men involves the phallicization of sexual expression. The etymology of the term traces back to the Greek word phallus, denoting the penis. The very act of nomenclature establishes a critical detachment, enabling a deeper examination of the underlying implications. For numerous individuals, the recognition of 'side' as a legitimate sexual possibility evokes a sense of desexualizing gay identity, as if it somehow diminishes the core essence of what it means to be gay. This perspective, furthermore, is indicative of a widespread perception that gay sexual activity is inherently and exclusively phallic. 

The Integration of the 'Side' Option by Grindr and the Resultant Discourse on a Category Promoting Liberty and Esteem

The discourse ignited by Grindr's inclusion of the 'side' alternative addresses the intricate relationship between gender and sexual expression within the deepest realms of intimacy. Although this newly added feature is welcomed by certain individuals, as it compels a critical examination of the gender-based power dynamics perpetuating traditional sexual roles and concurrently provides an escape from a predominantly phallocentric sexuality, other observers perceive it as merely an additional manifestation of the 'education of desire' paradigm that Grindr has cultivated over the past decade - a method instructing gay men on the manners and objects of their desires by supplying predefined identity categories through which they can present themselves to others and, consequently, eroticize those others. However, that constitutes a separate narrative entirely.

From a sexual perspective, a 'side' denotes a person who does not derive pleasure from either performing or receiving anal penetration. Conversely, 'sides' exhibit a preference for sexual activities that are less intrusive, while still embracing a spirit of sexual discovery. These may include, but are not limited to, frottage (also known as dry humping), passionate kissing, oral sex, affectionate touching and massage, reciprocal masturbation, and similar forms of intimacy.

Ario Mezzolani