Indications Your Spouse Is Homosexual

On occasion, a female might have been involved in what appeared to be a heterosexual relationship for a number of years, but nonetheless, she experiences a feeling that something is "off somehow;" and she might wind up pondering, "Is my spouse homosexual?" A significant number of women consider this inquiry unimaginable; nevertheless, according to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an authority regarding women who are married to homosexual men, it has been approximated that approximately four million females have been, or are presently, married to homosexual men. In the event that a spouse is homosexual, it could wreck havoc on not just the marriage but the heterosexual wife too.

Indications of a Homosexual Spouse - Is My Man Homosexual?

Without a doubt, the most straightforward method for ascertaining whether your spouse is homosexual is if that is what he communicates to you. If the spouse is being truthful with both you and himself (refer to: How Do I Know If I Am Homosexual? Clues You Are Homosexual), that is the moment at which you can genuinely ascertain that he is, in fact, homosexual. Lamentably, estimations reveal that half of homosexual spouses conceal their homosexuality from their respective wives and fail to attain this state of sincerity independently. Oftentimes, it is actually the wife who, on suspecting that something isn't quite right, must confront her homosexual spouse with the evidence; it is only afterward that honesty can truly be accomplished.

Nonetheless, if you're currently questioning, "Is my man homosexual?" it may prove advantageous to be aware that, as Kaye suggests, there exist signs to observe. Kaye has actually developed the Official Homosexual Spouse Checklist to be of assistance to women who are looking to figure out if their respective spouses are, in fact, homosexual.

Clues Your Spouse or Man Might Be Homosexual

Included in Kaye's checklist are the following:¹

• Fairly early in your marriage, there is a decline concerning sexual activity that does not ever resume. He will attempt to persuade you that all relationships go through a decline in sexual intimacy, regardless of the fact that you have only been an item with one another for several years.
• He becomes turned off by standard sexual conduct and accuses you of exhibiting oversexed behavior, aggressive behavior, or nymphomania when you are simply experiencing normal sexual needs.
• As far as his sexual performance goes, it is much more mechanical than passionate, exhibiting a lack of fulfilling foreplay.
• He asserts that he is "depressed" and will lay the blame for his diminished sexual desire regarding you on either his depression or any medication for his depression.
• You come across sexual enhancers--for instance, Viagra (sildenafil citrate) or Cialis (Tadalafil)--hidden inside his private hiding locations, but you are very much aware of the fact that he hasn't attempted to engage in sexual activity with you at all.
• He makes the suggestion to you that he would like for you to make use of sex toys on him simply because he requires his prostate to be stimulated or due to his enjoyment of kinky sex.
• He deletes the history on the computer consistently.
• You discover pop-ups showcasing gay pornography on the computer, despite him claiming that they are not his doing.
• He devotes an excessive amount of time sending text messages to individuals during unusual hours.
• He starts devoting increased time at the fitness center, and he is working diligently on modifying his physical appearance.
• He makes the assertion that he feels "trapped" inside the marriage; however, he declines to elaborate as to why.
• He travels frequently for business-related reasons, and you cannot monitor his endeavors.
• He vocalizes that he is experiencing a "mid-life crisis" and develops a moody and depressed attitude.
• He confides in you concerning sexual abuse during his childhood/adolescence.
• He acknowledges having had a homosexual encounter sometime in the past.
• He utilizes the term "bisexual."
• He pays visits to gay bars, arguing that his sole purpose for being there is just to hang out with his gay companion(s).
• He views porno films that include gay male scenes.
• He regularly makes homophobic remarks, or on the other hand, he makes an exorbitant number of gay remarks during conversations.
• His ego appears to get a boost from compliments coming from gay men.

These indications of a homosexual spouse are not intended to be conclusive. It is possible for a spouse to be homosexual without showcasing any of those indications, or conversely, it is possible for a spouse to showcase these indications while in actuality, not being homosexual. These clues of a homosexual spouse function as a point of commencement. Kaye suggests that women "trust their gut instincts" when arriving at a determination regarding whether their respective spouses may be homosexual.

What Happens If My Spouse Is Homosexual?

If it then materializes that a spouse is, without a doubt, homosexual, the aftermath may prove difficult to address, most notably for the straight partner. A multitude of women discover that it is considerably more difficult for them to come to terms with the fact that their respective spouses are leaving them for another man rather than for another woman. It's not unusual for the wife to experience:²

• Guilt
• Hurt and even fury as a consequence of having been betrayed
• Devastation
• Shame
• Responsibility
• Repulsion

And the wife may perhaps find herself wondering whether anything was actually genuine concerning the partner whom she believed she knew on such an intimate level. (If you happen to be under the impression that it is possible for you to remedy the gay situation by having your spouse attend gay conversion therapy, be sure to give this a read.)

What needs to be stressed is that the husband's homosexuality falls entirely within the realm of his responsibility, having absolutely nothing at all to do with the wife. In no way has the wife been insufficient, and presumably, the homosexual spouse entered into marriage with her due to the fact that he possessed genuine care and concern for her. Certain homosexual men are of the opinion that being married will be capable of ridding them of their homosexuality. But of course, this isn't the reality. Experiencing sexual attraction directed toward the same sex constitutes no one's mistake, and more than likely, it has existed ever since birth.

article references

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2013, April 12). Could My Spouse Be Homosexual? Clues of a Homosexual Spouse, HealthyPlace. Accessed on 2025, August 12 from https://www.healthyplace.com/gender/gay/is-my-husband-gay-signs-of-a-gay-husband