Frat guys gay

<p>At the moment, I'm enrolled at a community college, and I've been contemplating joining Greek life once I make the move to a four-year university. The challenge arises, as this thread's title suggests, from my lack of a typical heterosexual attraction to women. The concern about whether a fraternity would even accept me as a gay man has lingered in my thoughts, especially since my regular acquaintances don't share my interest in Greek life. To provide a clearer picture of my situation, I'll share some personal details and motivations for wanting to join. I would deeply appreciate any assistance, especially from current or former fraternity/sorority members or charter heads.</p>

<p>Regarding myself, I aim to avoid stereotypes, but I do possess many traits commonly associated with gay men. For example, I have a passion for shopping and salon visits. I'm meticulous about my appearance, ensuring my hair is always perfect and using moisturizer, concealer, and sometimes bronzer and powder for flawless skin (which should be important for all, even straight guys). I am fascinated by the fashion world and relish shopping at high-end stores such as Louis Vuitton, Salvatore Ferragamo, and Burberry. I even subscribe to Vogue magazine. I would like to point out that even the straightest and most masculine of fraternity members do have a slightest bit of a fashionable trait inside them since they sometimes wear Ralph Lauren polo shirts, am I right? Moving on, I have a noticeable lisp and a slender physique with limited athletic ability. Sports don't interest me, and I don't seek to bulk up at the gym, as I don't believe large muscles align with my personal style. I'm more inclined towards pilates, yoga, or perhaps running/jogging if I can maintain consistency. My communication style isn't the typical "bro" talk. While those guys can occasionally be entertaining, I can't naturally replicate that humor. Believe me; it probably sounds as if I should be joining a sorority instead. I happen to be male. I want to clarify that I never cross-dress; I haven't before, nor would I ever consider it. While I respect cross-dressing as a part of the LGBT community, it simply isn't my preference. It is also worth mentioning I did not really go to many parties during high school, but understand that partying is a main event for many social fraternities. I am ready and willing to try it out and the partying scene actually sounds like fun to me. But still, I would want to keep myself in check with the consumption of alcohol.</p>

<p>Indeed, as you perceive, numerous fraternity members stand as polar opposites to my description. You may well ask, why would I consider joining a fraternity if I may find myself surrounded by people that I probably would not have anything that we can relate to with each other? Well, I have my own reasons. I've heard Greek life to be an exceptionally enjoyable, fun, and worthy pursuit. My research indicates that I stand to gain significantly from Greek life, with enduring positive impacts from my college years extending beyond graduation, such as lifetime connections. What a benefit! Moreover, the bonds created with fellow members promise to be uniquely special, akin to brotherhood. Consequently, I'm hopeful for some common ground with fraternity members, enabling such friendships. To be very clear, my motivation isn't the presence of attractive individuals; please, avoid any such misconceptions. I genuinely aspire to be a part of the Greek system, relish my college experience, and forge lasting bonds within a brotherhood. More than that, gaining membership would empower me to serve as a role model, demonstrating that fraternity/sorority membership is accessible to all, regardless of sexual orientation. I'm uncertain if there are existing LGBT Greek members and feel like there are none. Therefore, I request help from anyone with Greek system experience, whether current, former, or knowledgeable about its workings.</p>

<p>Given the length of your submission, I apologize for not reading all of it but I doubt anything that you said would sway my opinion on the matter. Greek life doesn't inherently prohibit homosexuals, so acceptance hinges on the specific chapter. At Brown, an LGBT-focused co-ed group existed, while sororities and some fraternities included gay members (our fraternity had about 10%, who often held executive positions, including chapter presidents). One of our brothers attended an "Out and Greek" conference and shared his insights.</p>

<p>The more gay-friendly a college is, the more gay-friendly their fraternities will be, in my estimation.</p>

<p>Due to the length, I didn't read past your opening lines. Numerous universities, such as Emory, have gay fraternities. Furthermore, numerous colleges and universities embrace gay inclusivity, including Wesleyan, Swarthmore, Oberlin, Vassar, Grinnell, Skidmore, NYU, and Brown, among others.</p>

<p>Your skepticism resonates with others. A friend considered joining a fraternity, spent time socializing, but ultimately hesitated due to concerns about potential awkwardness. When questioned, he voiced his concerns, and the fraternity assured him it wasn't an issue. He intends to join next time. I think when you get to campus, if you really want to join a frat then just ask up front if it'll be an issue, don't assume. As someone mentioned, gay fraternities exist now.</p>

<p>Traditionally, all-male fraternities embody hetero-normative spaces; while formal exclusions based on sexual orientation may not exist, your experience as a non-heterosexual individual may vary. As an attendee of a school boasting a significant Greek presence, familiar with Greek culture, my instincts lean towards caution. Still, this largely hinges on your school's environment. The Greek atmosphere at large B1G and SEC schools notably differs from that of smaller LACs or private institutions. </p>

<p>Considering non-traditional fraternities such as co-ed, honors, or pre-professional fraternities may also prove beneficial. These groups can provide many of the same perks of Greek life (close friendships/connections, socials, philanthropy) at a lower cost.</p>

<p>Out of curiosity, what aspects of frat life appeal to you? Your post didn't strongly indicate a desire for it.</p>

<p>^The original poster addressed this query in the 3rd question.</p>

<p>As a gay member of a social fraternity, I may offer some guidance.</p>

<p>Entering the process, identify your target fraternities. For me, maintaining high academic performance held significance. I also focused on how they dress themselves. I thought I would click more with the guys I dressed like… and I was definitely correct. I wouldn't have anything in common with the frats that walk around in camo/sweatpants/baggy clothing. Fortunately, my fraternity ranks first on campus academically and boasts the best style. Additionally, a friend knew a member who came out last year, receiving full acceptance from the fraternity. I found common ground with these people. A few gay guys belong to my fraternity… Roughly 4% of our fraternity identify as gay. There should, hopefully, be a frat on campus for you too!</p>

<p>That all having been said, you and I do differ somewhat. I enjoy partaking in many typical fraternity activities, and my sexual orientation isn't readily apparent. I eschew makeup and enjoy exercising. Conversely, a (gay) friend, who shared similarities with you, rushed the same fraternity but didn't receive a bid. I would venture to say that 80% of conversations in frats revolve around girls, partying, and "getting swoll," even in my fraternity.</p>

<p>Ultimately, it hinges on compatibility. If you seek friendship and enjoy spending time with fraternity members and participate in their conversations, pursue it! You can find a fraternity-like atmosphere in various campus activities. A fraternity stands as one of numerous options.</p>

<p>I took the time to peruse your submission (I find it hard to understand that people can't take 2-3 mins to read a few paragraphs, it's not hard or time consuming)</p>

<p>In any event, you ought to manage to identify a fraternity accepting of you, as long as you're not at a conservative school such as A&M. If feasible, lessen your lisp to make a positive initial impact when you seek fraternity membership.</p>

<p>Additionally, our society includes many who, inexplicably, struggle to accept homosexuals. I'm of the opinion that this reveals considerable insecurities, preventing them from treating homosexuals as ordinary people. What is even worse are the guys who act deliberately guy-like so that they're not somehow mistaken for being gay.</p>

<p>As a straight man, I'd readily befriend a kind gay individual. Commonly, they demonstrate excellent fashion sensibilities and exhibit greater empathy when you seek support, unlike many straight men who've been trained to suppress emotions and appear tough/aloof.</p>

<p>My D2 attended Dickinson and befriended a male student who came out as gay during his freshman year. He joined a fraternity that year and remained an active member until recently graduating. When asked, D considered it a "non-issue." However, Dickinson's fraternities primarily serve as social and community service organizations, with limited housing options. </p>

<p>In my opinion, smallish, liberal-leaning colleges (like the LACs mentioned) would likely pose no issue. This might not hold true for larger schools, particularly in more conservative regions.</p>

<p>Although I didn't go through the whole thing (since it is pretty extensive), my initial four-year institution featured an abundance of fraternities whose members (of all sexualities) practiced waxing, spray tanning, plucking, tweezing, and devoted considerable attention to hair care and fashion. The stereotypical boundaries between gay and straight blurred completely. Never before or after have I witnessed so many men fixated on their fingernails and attire.</p>

<p>I extend my gratitude to each of you for dedicating your time to read my entire post, even if some of you could not get to reading the whole thing. I realize it's lengthy, haha, but I wanted to provide ample detail, steering clear of ambiguity. </p>

<p>AeroMike, regarding my lisp, I avoid exaggerated flamboyance but do possess a somewhat feminine manner of speaking. I do have some qualities that So from a scale from 1-10, I would say that it would be around a…ohhh, let's sayyy…a six or a seven?</p>

<p>Ladeeda6, what educational institution did you attend?</p>

<p>AdamLaLa, could you elaborate on the fraternity you joined? My primary interest lies in top-tier fraternities. One more thing, I refrain from wearing overt makeup, such as lipstick or blush. However, I do use concealer or powder to diminish blemishes while maintaining a natural look. Again, drag doesn't appeal to me at all, loll.</p>

<p>uclacee, living with a group of roommates in a shared Greek house entices me as it provides an opportunity to cultivate friendships and forge deeper connections capable of enduring post-graduation. What is more, these experiences could potentially prove useful later in life, fostering valuable connections. I do have other justifications, but those are my main considerations.</p>

<p>Big10Champ, I appreciate your advice. Nevertheless, my focus remains on social fraternities. I lack extensive knowledge of fraternity life but find it fascinating.</p>

<p>My aspirations involve attending a UC school (UCI, UCLA, or UCSD) or an Ivy League institution (U of Penn or Cornell) due to their excellent medical programs. L.A. and New York City are quite gay-friendly, unlike my current residence of Orange County, which leans conservative. I can tell because whenever I am with another man in public, we get plenty of stares and head turns in Orange County while nobody in L.A. even bats an eye. I don't know how San Diego embraces the gay lifestyle. The challenge lies in determining which of these schools boasts prominent social fraternities, unlike campuses like SDSU or UCSB, which are more well-known for academics rather than partying. The only fraternities that I pops in my head are Sigma Nu and Pi Kappa Phi (yes, because of Jimmy Tatro) and I heard that each chapter of different campuses can differ despite having the same titles.</p>

<p>Realistically, I desire membership in a group that offers ample advantages without causing discomfort among my fellow members due to my attraction to men. I also happen to be residing in a residence with them. Most fraternities and sororities are known for usually having attractive men and women, which can make things even more awkward to them. How could this happen?</p>

<p>This definitely hinges on the institution. I am not sure if you were to go to South Carolina that most fraternities would embrace homosexuality, but perhaps more liberal schools foster greater inclusivity. I know some homosexual frat bros at my school (UMD). Although, they belong to a "low tier" fraternity. This is simply my personal observation</p>

<p>In just a couple of words: Dawson's Creek.</p>

<p>But really, undergo the rush process to witness the outcome.</p>

<p>As a side note, co-ed fraternities and sororities exist. While diverging from typical Greek life, they emphasize academics, service, fields of study, etc. Looking into these may prove beneficial.</p>

<p>My friend (a girl) speaks highly of her honors fraternity.</p>

<p>The Greeks are famous for men bonding with men. This seems alright with me.</p>

<p>Some Greeks also took advantage of young boys. In the grand scheme of things: Greek origins don't guarantee moral purity.</p>

<p>you should consider joining a sorority</p>