Stereotypes of gay men

• Myth 1: Homosexuality is a personal choice.

  Reality: Factors such as genetics and the neurobiological processes of brain development shape sexual orientation.

  Parenting styles, peer pressure, and religious struggles are not causative factors for homosexuality or heterosexuality.

  A person's homosexuality is no more a deliberate choice than their heterosexuality. Inquiring of a gay person, 'When did you decide to be gay?' is akin to asking a heterosexual person, 'When did you choose to be attracted to the opposite sex?'

  Scientific research indicates that sexual orientation—both homosexuality and heterosexuality—has a biological basis.¹ Though further investigation is warranted, studies suggest that genetic predispositions (i.e., DNA), epigenetic factors (i.e., how influences impact our genes), and pre-natal brain development play a significant role in determining a person's sexual orientation.²

• Myth 2: Homosexuality can be treated or altered.

  Reality: Therapies aimed at changing sexual orientation are ineffective and potentially harmful.

  Efforts to modify the sexual orientation of lesbians, gay men, and bisexual individuals—often termed "conversion" or "reparative" therapy—have been proven invalid. A task force convened by the American Psychological Association, after scrutinizing years of research on such treatments, concluded that altering sexual orientation is highly improbable. Likewise, leading mental health and counseling organizations do not recommend conversion or reparative therapies (see below).

  Exodus International, the largest North American organization offering reparative therapies, ceased operations in 2013 after 37 years of ineffectiveness. At the press conference announcing this closure, president Alan Chambers expressed regret for the organization's and the broader Christian community's judgmental history. Acknowledging the principles of God's love and human worth, he emphasized that all individuals—regardless of sexual orientation—are comparable to prodigal sons and daughters. Exodus International, in effect, was a prodigal's elder brother, attempting to impose its will upon divine promises and to assess worthiness for God's kingdom.

  These organizations that recommend against conversion therapy and reparative therapy include:

  Medical Organizations:

  • American Medical Association
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
  • American Psychiatric Association
  • American College of Physicians
  • Pan American Health Organization
  • Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (PAHO): Regional Office of the World Health Organization

  Counseling Organizations:

  • American Psychological Association
  • American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry
  • American Counseling Association
  • American Psychoanalytic Association
  • American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
  • American School Counselor Association
  • American School Health Association
  • National Association of Social Workers
• Myth 3: Parents are responsible for their child's homosexuality.

  Reality: A child's sexual orientation is not influenced by parental behavior. However, parent reactions to the disclosure of a child's sexual orientation can have a profound impact on the child's wellbeing.

  Parents who discover that their child is lesbian, gay, or bisexual frequently feel self-blame. This is not substantiated by scientific evidence. A child's sexual orientation is innate. Parents cannot induce heterosexuality nor homosexuality in a child. (Refer to Myth 1 for further information).

  However, parent reactions following a child's disclosure have the potential to significantly influence the child's trajectory, both during their formative years and into adulthood. Parents can take measures to safeguard their children from potentially detrimental outcomes such as homelessness, depression, and suicide,⁴ as well as risk-taking behaviors such as substance abuse and sexually transmitted diseases. For guidance, see the section on 'Parent Actions that Help.'

• Myth 4: Children can influence each other's sexual orientation.

  Reality: Peer influence does not dictate sexual orientation.

  While adolescents and children might display behaviors that emulate or affect each other, sexual orientation is not learned by observation. Individuals might come out to children not because they are coerced, but due to recognition of a common bond.

• Myth 5: LGBTQ individuals pose a threat to children.

  Reality: LGBTQ people are no more likely to engage in child molestation than any other group.

  This unsubstantiated claim is erroneous. LGBTQ individuals, like heterosexuals, possess the same protective inclinations toward children. Sexual attraction to children is not homosexuality but rather pedophilia, a psychological condition.

  This false assertion, frequently directed at gay men, is unsupported by research. Studies show that gay men are not more likely to abuse children than straight men.⁵ In reality, 90% of child molesters target children within their social circles, and the majority of these offenders are men in heterosexual relationships.⁵. Research reviewed by Dr. Gary Herek failed to establish any association between homosexuality and heightened child sexual abuse rates in men.⁶

  A prominent propagator of this myth, the discredited psychologist Paul Cameron, remains a frequent source of erroneous anti-gay assertions. His claims, widely refuted, continue to be cited by anti-LGBTQ organizations.⁵

• Myth 6: The Bible condemns homosexuality.

  Reality: The Bible emphasizes ethical treatment of all people, irrespective of their sexual orientation.

  Jesus did not comment on homosexuality. His teachings embodied love and acceptance, not condemnation. Moreover, many Christians prioritize the Great Commandment in Matthew 22:36-40, which emphasizes love of God and fellow humans.

  Only a handful of verses out of over 31,000 are employed to support the argument of biblical condemnation of homosexuality. Analyzing these verses within their historical and textual contexts reveals that a modern interpretation of anti-homosexuality is not warranted. The term "homosexual" does not appear in the Bible; no text or manuscript, Hebrew, Greek, Syriac, or Aramaic, contains such a word.⁸

  (For an in-depth examination of these seven frequently cited passages, consult UnClobber by Colby Martin.)

  For alternative, inclusive interpretations, see the "LGBTQ-Affirming Scripture" compiled by members of St. Hugh of Lincoln Episcopal Church, Elgin, Illinois, which highlights the Bible's themes of love and inclusion.

• Myth 7: Homosexuality is a mental disorder.

  Reality: LGBTQ individuals exhibit the same level of mental health as non-LGBTQ people.

  In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, and American Academy of Pediatrics issued a joint statement: "Homosexuality is not a mental illness. It requires no treatment and is not amenable to change. Gender differences are natural expressions of human relations." Homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the authoritative list of mental disorders, at that time.

  LGBTQ individuals possess the same mental health profile as their counterparts. However, stigma, bias, and discrimination experienced by LGBTQ people can cause mental health issues⁶ and increase the risk of suicide attempts and other self-harm.

• Myth 8: Marriage is exclusively between a man and a woman.

  Reality: Same-sex relationships can exhibit the same levels of commitment, strength, and validity as heterosexual relationships.

  Same-sex marriage is legally recognized in the United States and numerous other countries. Mutual love and respect, rather than gender, are the hallmarks of a strong and legitimate union. Committed same-sex relationships can be celebrated and revered by families, communities, and religious institutions, similar to heterosexual marriages.

• Myth 9: Recognizing same-sex marriage will lead to a broader definition of marriage.

  Reality: Marriage inherently involves two consenting adults.

  This is a "slippery slope" argument. By definition, marriage requires the consensual participation of two adults. This principle excludes cases such as marriage involving a minor, an animal, or other extreme examples that have been used to contrast with same-sex marriage. These hypothetical situations do not involve two consenting adults.

• Myth 10: Homosexual acts are a sin.

  Reality: Sexuality is a normal aspect of human connection, regardless of sexual orientation.

  Another viewpoint is that sexuality is a divine gift granted to all people. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is morally neutral. Yet, in practice, an unfair distinction is frequently made: "It's acceptable to be gay, but don't express your sexuality or engage in sexual relations." This unequal application is unwarranted and unfair.

  It is disquieting and injurious to expect LGBTQ people to dissociate their true selves from their lived experiences. The value of committed relationships, regardless of sexual identities, must be respected equally.

  Some LGBTQ individuals choose celibacy, just as some heterosexuals do. Such choices reflect personal convictions, not imposed restrictions.

• Myth 11: Opposition to homosexuality is a Christian tenet.

  Reality: Following Jesus' teachings, Christians are called to extend love to all.

  Many Christians have a legacy of tolerance and respect for diverse beliefs, expressions of faith, and interpretations of scripture. Using faith to incite fear, aversion, or narrow-mindedness is never congruent with Christian principles. People of good faith often embrace LGBTQ individuals as cherished children of God.

  Growing numbers of clergy members are changing their viewpoints as they foster deeper understanding of LGBTQ individuals in their congregations and witness the anxieties of LGBTQ members, particularly the fear of being ostracized.

• Myth 12: Accepting LGBTQ people will negatively affect the church.

  Reality: Inclusive faith communities often experience renewed vitality by embracing LGBTQ members.

  Churches that reject or condemn LGBTQ Christians frequently witness a decline in membership. This loss may involve LGBTQ individuals themselves and their families who face judgment, prompting them to withdraw from the church or seek acceptance in a more welcoming community. Conversely, inclusive churches frequently attract those seeking to align their faith with their values.

  Inclusive churches attract individuals seeking churches that genuinely practice acceptance and kindness, and demonstrate a profound understanding of the Bible's core principles.

Sources:

1. Healy, Melissa.'Scientists find genetic differences between gay men and their straight twin brothers'. Los Angeles Times. (Oct. 8, 2015)
2. Pepper, Michael and Beverley Kramer. 'Here's What We Know About the Science of Sexual Orientation' Slate Magazine.
3. 'The Lies and Dangers of Efforts to Change Sexual Orientation or Gender Identity' Human Rights Campaign website.
4. Caitlin Ryan, David Huebner, Rafael M. Diaz and Jorge Sanchez. 'Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults' Pediatrics. January 2009, VOLUME 123 / ISSUE 1; 123;346
5. Schlatter, Evelyn and Robert Steinback. '10 Anti-Gay Myths Debunked' Southern Poverty Law Center. Intelligence Report, 2010 Winter Issue. February 27, 2011.
6. Herek, Gregory M., Ph.D. 'Facts About Homosexuality and Child Molestation' Univ. of California, Davis
7. Meyer, I. H. (2003). 'Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence'. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697.
8. John Boswell, Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century (University of Chicago Press, Paperback edition, p. 92).